I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
