I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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