If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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