I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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