just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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