so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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