I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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