Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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