This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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