Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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