So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
