Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
