:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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