So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
