I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
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