the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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