i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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