I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
