im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
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