I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I smell stomach acid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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