no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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