i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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