Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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