For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
