this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize