How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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