i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
