It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
