I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
