I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
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