So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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