garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize