Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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