We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
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