my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
