omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
