I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We left the knife in your bed.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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