Rock
Scissors
Fuck
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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