4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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