He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
