i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
