I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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