That's intense
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
