Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
