Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize