Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
