so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
