he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
