i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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