I'm really into asian looking animals
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Randomize
