Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
worst night to have a conscience
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
