This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
