do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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