He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I enjoy the company of your penis
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
