Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Boobs are out for the taking
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
