I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
