it hurts more in the daytime
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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